Can You Read My Cover Letter And See It’s Acceptable?
I’m looking for a job as a language teacher. Can someone read my cover letter and see if it’s OK?
Dear Mr.—
I would like to apply for a full-time position as a ——- teacher in your school.
I had five years’ experience working with middle-school students in — and over 10 years of experience teaching early childhood grades in both private and public schools in —. Now I want to work in a great high school. Your school has such a great reputation with both students and faculty that I want to join the team. I looked up your school web page and am aware of the requirements for a language teacher. I am confident in my ability to be a valuable asset to your school.
My greatest strengths include effective classroom management and building a student-centered community. Throughout the course of my career, I have also become proficient at designing data-based lesson plans. I constantly monitor individual students’ progress and utilize differentiated instructions to link learners with essential understandings and skills. As a result, my students have been able to reach their fullest potentials and achieve their educational goals.
I look forward to discussing with you how my qualifications would best meet the needs of your educational program. You can call me after 4:30 pm on weekdays or email me at your earliest convenience for an interview.
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
My Name
Enclosure
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Posted On: Jun 7th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
The best thing I can tell you is to pretend that instead of writing a letter you are actually sitting with this potential employer and presenting yourself for this position. Keep it easy and conversationally formal.
Instead of breaking down your experience in your cover letter just address the fact that you have over 15 years experience teaching in grades ranging from early elementary through middle school in both the public and private sectors. And don’t be quite so flowing with the praise of his school. Be a little more professional with your praise. Certainly let him know that you are aware of his school’s fine reputation but you are trying to “sell” him on your reputation, he is already aware of his own.
As for outlining your qualifications, Just be very basic and give him the high points, you want to pique his interest, not bore him before he gets to your resume’.
As for your closing paragraph, don’t give him permission to call you…invite him to call and be a little more flexible with your contact times. He’s doing you the courtesy of calling and if you put limits on you availability he may view that as an inability to be responsible and structure time. As for the email part I would suggest you phrase it more like “If it would be more convenient for you, you can always contact me through my email to set something up.”
Your ending shouldn’t sound quite so gratuitous. It should be more along the lines of “Thank you for your consideration in this matter and I do look forward to hearing from you”
Hope this helps some. Good luck with the job hunt! -
Here you go.
1. – OF my ability
2.leave out greatest (strengths)
3.student, not students
4.full, not fullest
5.leave out “with you” (discussing)
6.Feel free to call me after 4:30 pm on weekdays or e-mail me anytime. (Nothing else. – the grammar is bad and they decide about the interview – not you)
Good luck. -
It sounds great, and you sound like an amazing teacher! But just as a note, and you might already have it like this, but make sure to double space between your name and enclosure
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Grammar is a must. And what about something that was a bit creative? Did you ever do something that made you stand out? I think you could add that if you wanted to.
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instead of early childhood put first through third.
and don’t say “email me at your earliest convience”
say “you can email me” -
It’s horrible… you need to learn proper grammar, punctuation, etc.
There is no way you’re going to get a job if you continue to write like this. -
I wouldn’t hire you. That’s just plain awful.
It needs a lot of work. -
You should clean up the grammar and language a bit. For example, I wouldn’t use the word “great” at all, let alone twice in back-to-back sentences. “Great” sounds a little too adolescent.
Also, you write “I constantly monitor individual students’ progress…” The word “individual” implies a singular noun, yet you use it to point to the plural form of the word “students.” It sounds clumsy. I would change it to “I constantly monitor the progress of each student…”
I’m not so sure about this sentence: “As a result, my students have been able to reach their fullest potentials and achieve their educational goals.” Times may have changed, but when I went to school we (as elementary-grade students) didn’t have “educational goals” nor did they ever cross our little minds. I think it might have more of an impact on your intended audience to say “As a result, my students worked harder, thus achieving and in many cases surpassing, the educational goals as set forth by our district.”
Lastly, as an overall observation, in order to get the most out of each job application you should really tailor each cover letter (or email) to the specific job you are applying for. This gives you the opportunity to address specific requirements of each job by pointing out the skills you have that would match or surpass what they are looking for.
Good luck! -
It all sounds great. Are you sure about potentials instead of potential at the end of the third paragraph? You’re the language teacher, but I’m a writer and that hits my ear wrong. If you’re sure you’re correct, just ignore me.
I might include brief examples of your effective classroom management and your success in building a student-centered community.
Back to the second paragraph — “I looked up your school web page and am aware of the requirements for a language teacher.”
What requirements? And how can you meet them? Are there specific examples of ways you will be a valuable asset to the school? Show you put a little effort into it. “I have done some research on the Lincoln School web page and was particularly interested in the multidisciplinary reading teams. I feel improving reading comprehension should be a major priority across the curriculum, especially for 9th and 10th grade, and would be thrilled to implement some of my ideas in this area.”
Otherwise, it is very well written. I hope I gave you some tips for an even greater edge. Best of luck!