Comments on: Grammar Help For Cover Letter?

By: Beau D. Satva

Beau D. Satva — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:05:06 +0000

Put hyphen b/t “student teaching” in first line. I think “at” the kindergarten level.

By: Deuce

Deuce — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:05:06 +0000

As a 2007 graduate of *********University, I have wonderful student teaching experience at the kindergarten level. I am certified both in in Elementary Education and Early Childhood Education. Currently I am working with special needs students as a Personal Care Assistant in the **************School District.
I am committed to professional growth to help my students foster a lifetime love of learning. My primary goal is to teach children by playing a vital role in their development. The childrenâ€™s experiences during their elementary years shape their views of themselves and their place in the world and will certainly affect later progress in school, work, and personal lives.
I would like the opportunity to use best instructional practices, teamwork (with students, parents, staff, administration, and the community. My passion and nurturing spirit will foster this already high-achieving district reach new heights

By: AListOwn

AListOwn — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:05:06 +0000

My suggestions are as follows:
[deletes in brackets]
SUGGESTIONS IN CAPS
[COMMENTS IN CAPS AND BRACKETS]
Good luck on getting this job.
As a 2007 graduate of *********University, I have had a wonderful student teaching experience IN [on the] kindergarten [level]. I am certified in elementary and early childhood education. Currently, I AM A PERSONAL CARE ASSISTANT FOR [am working with] special needs students [as a personal care assistant] in the **************School District.
I am committed to professional growth AND [as well as] influencing [my] YOUNG students to foster a lifetime love of learning THROUGH [AND GIVE SOME CONCRETE EXAMPLES]. [I want to teach children because I will play a vital role in the development of my students. The childrenâ€™s experiences during their elementary years shape their views of themselves and the world, and will certainly affect later progress in school, work, and their personal lives.] [ALL OF THE LAST PART IS UNNECESSARY AS YOU ALREADY CONVEYED SOME OF IT AND THE REST IS WELL KNOWN.]
I would like the opportunity to use best instructional practices [WHAT IS BEST INSTRUCTIONAL PRACTICES? TOO GENERAL. IF YOU ADD THE CONCRETE EXAMPLES I SUGGEST ABOVE, YOU CAN REFER TO THEM HERE AND MAKE A GOOD TRANSITION TO THIS PARAGRAPH] AND teamwork [(]with students, parents, staff, administration, AND community[â€¦),]PERIOD [and] I BELIEVE my passionate and nurturing spirit WILL SUPPLEMENT WELL [to help] this already high-achieving district [rÃ¥each new heights]. PLEASE SEE MY ATTACHED RESUME.
I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU. THANK YOU FOR CONSIDERING ME. [Our young learners of today are the leaders of tomorrow, so please call me today so we can schedule an interview and I can help these future leaders succeed and become responsible members of society.]

By: sapphire

sapphire — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:05:06 +0000

Your last paragraph needs help. You can certainly “use best practices”, take out “instructional”. But you don’t “use” teamwork, you are a team player. and you don’t “use” your passionate and nurturing spirit, you have those things. I am a teacher–you need to add something unique to your letter. Everyone says those things. They are looking for something different. You have to be tough, dedicated, flexible, a yes-person, and be able to stay organized and focused to be a good teacher.