I Gotta Write This Bull-**** Book.?

ok, i wrote a book about suicide and how many ways someone could kill themselves. it was a joke, i even put a discalimer in the cover. but, now i need to write this bull **** book about the effects of it. only, i need to write 17 pages!!!!! 17 pages with print on both sides of each page. i need to find something on the internet. i can get away with it if i put in teeny, tiny, teeny letters that this was not written by me. i need an article.